Who wears a wallet chain?!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
