I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
