I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
