I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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