I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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