I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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