Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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