What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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