Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i think i just lost a toe
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
