I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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