We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
