yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
