On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
