I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
