Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
