she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
