Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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