Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
