Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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