So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
