Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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