He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I understand Curling. That high.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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