Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
