fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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