My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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