ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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