Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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