I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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