I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
