i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
