i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Your cock deserves a montage
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
