As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
