those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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