Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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