My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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