It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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