But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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