Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
