How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
