I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
