I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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