Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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