Will you blow on my dice?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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