Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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