I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
