ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
