allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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