You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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