Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
