I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
