I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
