is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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